Before going into the topic of Love and relationship advice that nobody has talked about yet, first I urge you to just remember how did you feel when your friend’s compliment about your crush/ bf/ gf to you, OMG!! he is so cute… WOW!! she is gorgeous, it was amazing, right? 🙂
You were really proud, very happy and excited to have him/her in your life. But life is not the same now, you and your partner are having a ton of arguments lately. Their jokes are annoying and not as funny as it used to be and their mistakes are no longer cute & silly. why the person you were crazy about is no longer keeping you interested, why has he/she changed so much, where is the romance between you two and why are you always fighting and quarreling??
Well, I may not know all the why’s and how’s of it and certainly I’m not a professional for Love and Relationship Advice but I certainly do have some advice for couples starting a new relationship that might save you from the aforementioned thoughts and dilemmas in the long run…
List of love and relationship advice
1. Ask Enough Questions:
How do you know about the person with whom you are going to spend the most important moments of your life is without asking him about it. A relationship is not just about how beautiful or handsome a person is or how much does he earn or how he dresses up, or how his friends and your friends describe of him, it is much more than just that.
To make a love and relationship last, there’s almost no skill more important than being able to communicate with your partner – In the early stages, it might be difficult and uncomfortable to voice any questions or complaints you have about the relationship, but it’s crucial that you do so: any unanswered curiosity are just going to develop assumptions about him which will be the cause of dispute between the two of you.
It will be easy to get answers if we put courage to ask questions to our partner at the beginning of a relationship because he/she too will not feel bored with your questions as he/she too is as excited as you to talk to you.
2. Compromise (to your limit) but know the fact first:
It is natural in a new love and relationship to want to make sure that you impress your partner and to feel intense passion and attraction, and this sometimes causes people to ignore important qualities like matching on values. Long-term partnerships require matching on fundamental traits but what we do we neglect those traits and compromise instantly in order for your partner to be happy.
- Communicate clearly & precisely.
- Say what you mean and mean what you say, be direct and considerate.
- Choose battles wisely and respect his/her opinions too.
- Treat your partner well.
- Do not force your opinion to him/her.
- Avoid destructive things like yelling, insulting.
- Do not judge him/her.
As we know the strength of a house depends upon how strong its foundation is likewise the start of a love and relationship can lay the foundation for the future, so pay attention to how you communicate and how can you come up to a logical conclusion.
3. Know The Difference Between Sharing and Over-Sharing:
Of course, sharing is caring but let me tell you that not sharing anything at all or sharing the A to Z of everything both have their impacts on a relationship. You might believe that sharing everything helps you to bond but on the contrary, it might be the opposite.
We should know what to share, when and how to share with our partner. Here I am talking about the emotional aspects of love and relationship, as much as you share your emotions your partner opens up with his, that way it will make you comfortable with him and vice-versa.
- Keeping a little suspense is always appreciated and cherished.
- Prioritize what you want to share about yourself and want to hear about his/hers.
- Feel the emotions not just the words he/she shares with you.
- Help him/her to open up comfortably.
- Do not talk about your past love and relationship. Yes, transparency in a relationship is key but do not let your new partner judge you on the basis of what you went through previously. Curiosity leads to quarrel and resentment if you talk about all those why’s, how’s and when’s of your previous relationship – yes, it is a human nature.
I would rather suggest making it simple as saying “My ex and I weren’t a good match, and this became more evident with time and we chose our own ways..” and that’s it, disclose these things in a positive light and then move on.
- Do not rush into conclusion.
- Do not share all the hatred you have had of people or problems of your family – you don’t have to share absolutely everything within a first date, take your time until mutual trust develops.
- Most importantly do not lie.
It’s been two weeks and he/she knows everything about you, Why not remain a little mysterious and not open up too much early in a relationship or else it ends up being a therapy session. “Slow and steady” does win the race in love and relationship. 🙂
4. Do Not Rush into Physical Relation:
Different people have different opinions on what and how the first kiss should be but personally, for me, it doesn’t only mean the intercourse, sex is the emotional pleasure along with the physical and I prefer to create an emotional attachment first to be ready for the next with my beloved.
The first date, the first kiss is always a thing that you will cherish so why not the first sex with your partner? It is always a fun to create a curiosity for it… let the pulse run high few more times then to actually go for it – will not that be more fun?
“Let him/her crave for you as you crave for a coffee/beer after a tiring day – imagine how pleasurable that feeling is to finally feel relaxed with your cravings.” 🙂
- Wait, there is no such thing as too soon or too long in love and relationship. The right time is when both people are 100% ready.
- Learn about the new person, how to interact with him/her, their likes and dislikes, when they’re social and when they’re happy to be alone… all these things take time and can feel awkward at first.
- Explore all the pleasures first with your gf/bf before you actually go into the actual act.
- Try to understand his/her desires.
- Create romance and feel it within both of you.
- Do not be a “touch me not plant“.
- Don’t be nagging about it always. You do not need to be approved by your partner to be romantic.
- And most importantly do not keep him/her waiting too long as it might be a cause of your insecurities and quarrel.
- Do not misjudge him/her for not being able to give you what you want, he/she might be thinking of a more better way to do it – have patience.
- Do not expect your love and relationship and the romance to be like what you see in movies or televisions, they are just carefully planned and organized set of actions.
5. Do Not Make Commitments You Cannot Keep:
Love and Commitment are two different things:
LOVE is a feeling. We get tingly and joyful, we get excited. We hug and kiss and cuddle. Love is boundless and limitless that can be explored every day and it definitely doesn’t have any criteria. However, COMMITMENT is a decision. Based on the combination of feelings and logic, we make a decision on our future.
When we make a commitment it is possible to make both good and bad decisions. But when we are in love we only love and nothing else. So I believe you should not worry about commitment when you are enjoying the love, there is time for it, so wait for that time and just enjoy the love that is budding each day.
- Trust your partner.
- Understand that commitment is not a part of love. It’s not a requirement of love.
- Do not rush. Take it slow and steady whilst enjoying the aura of being in love.
- Do not force your partner to commit ASAP.
- Do not be foolish to douse the burning fire to/from love by throwing the chill of commitment to it, at least not so soon.
- Interpreting the future of your relationship based on the commitment or the issues regarding it is not a wise move.
- Do not feel insecure about your partner or his/her love towards you.
Some decisions affect the love and relationship along with our lives more than others. So take your time, be sure of although not everything but at least something so that you do not have to regret later. Take your time to commit but once you do stick to it like a rock.
6. Spend Time Together:
When in the fresh relationship there is always an excitement to see or spend time with your partner. “Ohh I miss him/her so much”, “where might he/she be now, what is he/she doing now”, “shall I call him for a coffee or something..” blah… blah… these stuffs goes into our head time and again but I would say Make varied plans with each other. Don’t only see each other in one context. Mix it up.
Love and relationship or the love affairs were actually better in olden days. Couples used to take the privilege of being courteous to their beloved, receiving them from home/ work, bringing roses or bouquets, sending handwritten letter/cards and many more.
Yes, we are now in the twenty-first century we should use the facilities that we have an access to. BUT what I mean here is that merely spending time chatting on Facebook or other social media or liking the pictures of your gf/bf on Instagram or alike doesn’t let you feel the actual vibe of love that your partner is feeling for you at that moment. Staying behind the computer or cell phone you are showing your feelings for him/her in the memes and stickers, I mean really?? Is that what you call love is huh?
The lovers have more of a broadband connection today than the actual real heart to heart connection, what a pity!
Your partner might be in toilet smelling the s**t when you ask him, baby, send me your selfie no… or whatever…
I believe in looking into my partner’s eyes, feeling the warmth inside her, taking her hands on mine – kissing them, bringing her close to me, hugging her tight and then whisper in her ears “I Love You, My Sweetheart!”
Well, I might be a bit romantic (hopelessly) LOL…
Anyway, what I actually meant is spend quality time with your partner when you could because this moment will never come again in your life, least we can do is to create a memory that we can talk about in future and maybe fall in love all over again. 🙂
- Make yourself available for him/her. Revise your schedule so that you can manage time for the most cherished person in your life (at least for now).
- Go for morning walks, lunch dates, and dinners with friends or colleagues.
- Have fun when you are around.
- Be in the moment and create a moment that takes your breath away (only you know how to do this I cannot suggest you on this.)
- Cut short your online chats because unseen communication is not worthy for the trust to develop between a couple, you might be flirting with him/her but they might get offended because they cannot see your mood whether you were trying to flirt or that you are serious. You might find it strange but this is true.
- Do not ruin the plan that you have made together.
- Do not make him/her wait long for the next date.
You do not need to go on spending a lot, you do not need to feel the burden of dates, catch-ups or meetups, simply walking in the peaceful evening or cycling the day off, cooking together, or simply hugging in the sunset does more wonders than spending a whole lot of money can do.
7. Do Not Keep Expectations:
Every relationship of a man is based on expectations. How should my boyfriend be? – that who can fill my life with happiness & luxury. How my girlfriend should be? – that who is always loyal and dedicated towards me. How my children should be? – they should obey me and give me no troubles……
A man (or woman) can only love such a person who can fulfill his/her expectations but expectations are always bound to fail because expectations are born in a person’s mind and nobody other than him will get to know what he actually is expecting. Despite having intense desire to fulfill his expectation he fails and right then the struggle is born and all the relationships are converted into a struggle. But if the man doesn’t keep expectations as the basis of his love and relationship and accept only the fact of being in a relationship then don’t you think life will be much happier?
When two people come closer then they try to create boundaries and seek dignity. If we look closely to it then we can make out that all the relationships are based on those boundaries which we create for each other; boundaries are merely the expectations. And if knowingly/ unknowingly anybody tries to get beyond that boundary then our heart will be filled with anger and hate. BUT did we ever try to think about the consequences of these boundaries hmm?
By creating such boundaries we are not allowing our love (bf/gf) to take their own decision rather we push our own decisions on them which means that we do not accept his/her freedom. Consequently, he/she tries to break those boundaries and when he/she does that it hurts you and your ego.
BUT if we respect each other’s freedom then we do not need to seek dignity and there will be no need for boundaries. As “acceptance” is the body of a relationship why can’t “freedom” be the soul of the same?? Think yourself of it.
- Accept your partner the way they are.
- Compliment him/her wholeheartedly. Send love messages often.
- Always keep your promise and try to materialize your plans.
- Put yourself in his/her shoes and then decide on something rather than just expecting for something to happen.
- Do not make yourself greedy for love, romance, or for enjoyments etc.
- Do not think that your partner should know everything in your heart and mind without you having to tell him/her. Nobody can read your mind unless you are some kind of freak or something.
- Do not expect anything in return for a simple gesture of love or romance.
One thing is for sure that it is practically not possible to completely not expect anything from your partner but what we can do we can only keep the realistic expectations.
In the early phases of a relationship, we are often wearing rose-colored glasses so we tend to ignore our partner’s faults, or weaknesses and only see their positive attributes but if we balance out the emotional component with rational thinking then we are sure to accept our partner the way he/she is without expecting anything in return. And if you are able to do so then I bet you that you will have the most wonderful, beautiful and amazing Love Story that one can only imagine and you will never need anyone to give you Love and Relationship Advices ever. 🙂
ALL THE BEST!!